Five Easy and Inexpensive Kitchen Hacks

With the holidays out of the way and – in much of the country – cold weather still hanging on, late February and early March can be the ideal time to get organized. Why not devote a weekend afternoon to getting your kitchen in order and ready for spring. Here are some quick and budget-friendly kitchen hacks to make your task easier!

Store baking necessities in glass jars

If you like to bake, get rid of unsightly bags and boxes, and pour your baking accoutrements into farmhouse-chic, airtight glass storage jars. They’ll keep flour, sugar and other baking ingredients fresh, and the wide mouth container will make it easy to scoop out what you need without making a mess. For a bit of extra flair, label jars with vintage style stickers, available at most craft stores.

Get a message board

Too many reminders and notes can make any kitchen look less than chic. Instead, tack up an old-fashioned cork bulletin board or chalkboard on a free wall to eliminate clutter. If you’re feeling adventurous, purchase a piece of foam insulation board from your local building supply store, cover with fabric of your choice and, voilà, you’re all set.

Organize plastic bags creatively

While it’s great to reuse plastic bags, don’t let them take up valuable space in your cabinets and drawers. For a fun, colorful way to store and dispense your bags, stuff them in an empty tissue box and use command strips to attach the box to  the inside of your pantry or a cabinet door. You’ll be able to easily pull out bag s one at a time. Choose a patterned box for a little extra flair.

 Show off cooking utensils

Have your own, personal arsenal of specialized kitchen utensils? Instead of hiding them away, take a cue from celebrity chefs and proudly display your tools. Try hanging them above your stove using stylish coat hooks, or install a curtain rod and hang them on shower curtain hooks. For a more utilitarian look, store utensils on a peg board.

Optimize under-sink storage

Install a tension rod underneath your sink and hang frequently used cleaning supplies on the rod. Store paper towels, soaps, sponges and other go-to items on a small lazy Suzan so you can easily access them as needed. For even more utility, install trash bags on an under sink wall hanger (similar to how you’d mount a paper towel roll).

Elmira Stove Works offers a complete line of 1950s-inspired kitchen appliances to give your space a trend forward, mid-century modern feel. Plus, our appliances are equipped with the very latest in cooking technology – which means you’ll never sacrifice the performance you demand for the aesthetics you prefer.

Ringing in the New Year – Vibrantly

As we head into 2018, and interior decorators are keeping their eyes on the latest color trends. Ultra Violet (the color, not the rays) was recently announced as Pantone’s 2018 Color of the Year, and it’s already making inroads in fashion and home decor. According to Pantone, this “dramatically provocative and thoughtful purple shade communicates originality, ingenuity, and visionary thinking that points us toward the future.”  

Brilliant violet isn’t the only hue you’ll be seeing lots of this year, however. Pantone’s TECH-nique palette is one of many bright and bold color schemes the color authority has selected for 2018.

Color Your World 

If you’re looking for an Ultra Fun way to spice up your kitchen, consider adding a color “pop” with a few accessories, or even a big bold “splash” of Ultra Violet with a full set of appliances.

Accessorize, Accessorize

Seeking a less expensive and less permanent way to incorporate the new Pantone Color of the Year? Lots of fun and quirky kitchen accessories are available, including this cool espresso machine and just about everything else you can imagine. If you prefer official flair, the Pantone website offers a wide array of items in Ultra Violet.

Be Bold. 
Be Bolder! 

If you’re all-in on color, Elmira offers a full range of appliances in virtually any color you can imagine, including Ultra Violet. “Go for bold” and create a style statement by pairing white cabinets with 1950s-inspired Northstar appliances in Ultra Violet.

Tie it all together with a matching splashback, microwave and dishwasher panel, and you’re ready to go. If you’re not quite that committed, maybe add one appliance – say a fridge or microwave – in violet and the rest in a neutral tone. 

If violet isn’t your style, you can choose from a variety of “not-so-standard” colors, along with hundreds of custom colors to create your perfect look; for example, Northstar in Mint Green or Antique appliances in Liberty Blue.

Transforming your kitchen into a visually stunning masterpiece can be as temporary or permanent as you want. What better way to kick off 2018 in style than to incorporate a pop of eye-catching color! 

If you like this story, check out the following links to see how Ultra Violet is making a name for itself in 2018… 

Pantone Just Released Their Color of the Year – And, It’s Ultra Stunning 

The Hidden Meaning in Pantone’s Color of the Year 

HGTV – Our Editors React to Pantone’s 2018 Color of the Year

For more information on Elmira’s complete line of retro and antique appliances, visit 

Have Yourself a Holly, Jolly Kitchen

It’s that time of year once again. Crisp, white snowflakes delicately falling in the back yard – the thrill of placing your favorite ornament on the family tree – and let’s not forget the smell of mom’s homemade gingerbread cookies baking fresh in the oven. That’s right…Christmas is just around the corner, and Elmira has a few ideas that will make your kitchen the statement of the season.

Decorating for the holidays doesn’t have to be the same, dull routine of hanging up lights, putting out wreaths and setting up the porcelain nativity scene your in-laws gave you. Be creative with your decorating and make a bold statement this Christmas with one of Elmira’s many festive-colored, retro-styled appliances. With a multitude of “not so ordinary” options from which to choose – all you have to do is find the one(s) you’ve been dreaming of (design your own kitchen here), and you’re sure to be the talk of the town!

The most important space in the house – a.k.a. the kitchen

Think about it. Where does a family spend most of its time during the holidays? Whether you’re baking Santa-shaped sugar cookies, heating up gravy on the stove or storing the leftovers from the 20-pound turkey in the refrigerator, it’s safe to say that kitchen appliances are an essential part of the Christmas experience. Even when nothing is cooking, baking or being spilled on the floor, the kitchen is the focal point of every home – the gathering place for laughter, unforgettable moments – and lasting memories.

What says “Christmas” more than pops of red and green?

Looking to brighten up your kitchen with a little comfort and joy? Elmira’s popular Northstar line is available in dazzling hues of Candy Red and Mint Green – there’s even a frosted silver option – providing the perfect accompaniment to neutral toned cabinetry and accents. The colorful collection, inspired by appliances from the 1950s, includes refrigerators and ranges in a variety of styles and sizes along with hoods and splashbacks, microwaves and dishwasher panels. There’s even a keg fridge for those who prefer to enjoy their favorite brew during the holiday festivities. For those who lean toward a more rustic 1890s look, Elmira’s Antique line is also available in a stunning Cayenne Red hue, as well as in Liberty Blue, Bisque, White and black accented with nickel or antiqued copper.

So, this holiday season – and all year-round – celebrate the joy of friends, family and home-cooked meals by adorning your kitchen with a little extra pizazz. It’s a wonderful life!

A Memorable Thanksgiving With Vintage Flair

Thanksgiving is a time-honored American tradition. The holiday is often celebrated eating a great home-cooked meal, surrounded by family and friends. It includes gathering in the kitchen in the morning to make that pumpkin pie or prepare the turkey while creating memorable moments.

When you’re congregated in the kitchen making all the side dishes and trimmings, have you ever stopped to think about how Thanksgiving dinner was made in your grandma’s kitchen? While some things never go out of style, kitchen appliances have come a long way… which is something we should all be thankful for.

In grandma’s kitchen, you had the feeling of being home. There was love and warmth around every corner. You also knew you were going to get a hearty home-cooked meal; not taking seconds was a serious offense. During after-dinner clean up, dishes had to be washed and dried by hand, which was no fun at all.

The day after the big feast probably involved some Black Friday shopping and then maybe cleaning the oven; after all, the oven just had its biggest day of the year. Back then, ovens were cleaned manually (or “womanually”). This involved spraying the oven with toxic cleaners, letting it soak, putting on rubber gloves, then mopping dirty toxic sludge out with rags. (Don’t forget to open the windows to let the toxic fumes out.)

Speaking of the cleaning your Grandma had to do, we would be remiss not to mention the nasty task of defrosting the refrigerator. This task included emptying the fridge and freezer, storing everything in coolers, letting the fridge warm up, and then chipping the ice out of the freezer with a steel spatula. Once the cleaning was completed, you could finally put the food back.

Today’s kitchen is not your Grandma’s – now, you can fit your unique personality into Thanksgiving without giving up the modern conveniences. Much like their original 1950s counterparts, retro fridges today offer customized shades and a range of styles to choose from. The outside may look foreign to those of the millennial generation, but its features are not.

Here are just a few bells and whistles to expect:

  • Self-cleaning ovens
  • Convection ovens for faster, even, precise baking and broiling
  • Programmable ovens for baking and self-clean
  • Warmer drawers
  • Frost-free fridges
  • Ice makers
  • Large functional freezers
  • Filtered cold water dispensers

It’s fun to look back to the days of June Cleaver, when evenings only consisted of the family dinner and  the fellowship around the table was the most important part of the day; and Thanksgiving dinner perhaps the most important meal of the year. The innovation of modern technology in kitchen appliances has helped preparing Thanksgiving dinner come into the 21st century, but some things like the warmth and love of family and friends while eating great food will never go out of style.

Sizzling Hot. Spooky Cool.

Tis the season for porches filled with spider webs, skeleton-lined driveways and jack-o-lanterns on the steps. As a child trick-or-treating on Halloween, nothing is more exciting than venturing up to an extravagantly decorated house. Well… maybe one thing: visiting a home featuring a spooky walk-through complete with “pop up” ghosts, goblins and ghouls.

Americans rank Halloween as their third favorite holiday, just behind Christmas and Thanksgiving. In 2016, Halloween retail spending hit a record high of $8.4 billion. Consumers spent money on costumes for all members of the family – kids, parents (and even pets) – along with candy and, of course, decorations.

As an adult, Halloween provides the perfect excuse to let loose and express ourselves differently than we do every other day of the year. There’s just something about dressing up and decorating the house, however crazily, spookily or just plain old differently, that provides an intriguing release from reality… seemingly what makes the holiday a favorite among Americans both young and old.

For those seeking to elevate their Halloween decor to the next level, the Northstar line from Elmira Stove Works offers a full range of customizable vintage refrigerators. Just in time for Halloween, the vintage-inspired Skulls and Flames design features an orange, airbrushed skull on a sleek black fridge that is sure to give anyone “the chills.”

Popular among motorcycle owners and vintage car aficionados alike, this visually striking fridge can even be tailored to be a draft beer dispenser, making it the ultimate man cave masterpiece.

Skulls not your thing? Fear not! Northstar fridges come in a variety of colors and can be airbrushed with a design of your choosing. These functional pieces of art are ideal for adding a pop of color to the kitchen or evoking masculine charm in a garage or man cave. If you happen to prefer the look of a solid color fridge, Elmira offers orange and black versions of its Northstar appliances – perfect for Halloween, and all year round.

Retro, colored appliances are not frequently found in kitchens nowadays, making these pieces all the more extravagant and gushworthy. With Elmira Stove Works, it’s easy to get the desired retro or antique look, without sacrificing the convenience of modern, high-tech appliances.

So, whether you’re seeking to up your Halloween decor and host a top-notch haunted house, or add a flare of self-expression to an otherwise generic kitchen or man cave, Elmira Stove Works has got you covered.

The Psychology of Color: What It Means for Your Kitchen

We live our lives in color – from the bright and burnished hues of the changing seasons to the clothes and cars we buy, down to the way we design our homes.

Color is such an important element in interior design not only because it’s what we see, but because color is known to have psychological effects onour perceptions and emotions. When we choose colors for our walls, furniture and appliances, we’re subconsciously promoting the associations attached to those colors, which then affects our own thoughts and feelings.

The design of a home is a reflection of the owner. To help you design a home that embraces the characteristics and mindset that best fit your personality, we’re running through the psychology of some of the most popular colors in our Northstar appliance collection.

(Candy) Red – Red is a strong color – warm and positive – that is associated with passion, attention, pride and strength. In Eastern cultures, red is the color of good luck. In the kitchen, vibrant red appliances will instantly command attention.

White – On the other end of the color spectrum sits white, which corresponds to clarity, cleanliness, purity and innocence. White promotes a sense of order and encourages mental sharpness. Opt for white appliances in the kitchen to create a fresh, inviting look.

 (Robin’s Egg) Blue – Soothing and calm, blue invokes health and healing. Being surrounded by blue generates a sense of peacefulness and understanding. Choose blue appliances to bring a relaxed, tranquil feeling to your home.

Black – Black has a reputation for symbolizing darkness, but – in reality – black is commonly associated with professionalism and sophistication. Compare a black-tie event with a more casual gathering where you might wear a t-shirt and shorts. It’s the dark, dramatic suits and dresses that create an upscale atmosphere. Black appliances can lend that same sense of elegance to your kitchen.

(Mint) Green – Representing nature, growth and balance, green transforms spaces through its associations with safety and harmony. Whichever shade you choose, green appliances will deliver a sense of balance and relaxation to your home.

(Quick) Silver – Sleek, modern and sophisticated, silver opens us up new ideas and activates intuition. Including silver in your kitchen will impart a modern feel, while its associations with jewelry and treasures will invoke a sense of luxury.

(Buttercup) Yellow – The happiest color on the spectrum, yellow is an energetic hue that represents youthfulness and joy. It inspires thought and creativity, and – on an emotional level – lifts spirits and encourages optimism. Use yellow appliances to bathe your home in year-round “sunshine.”

One of the best features of the Northstar collection is the wide variety of available color options, which makes it easy to find the color scheme that’s right for you. Going for a beachy summer vibe? Try a light blue wall with white appliances or a white wall with Robin’s Egg blue appliances. Looking to make a bold statement? Pair red appliances with a black-and-white checkerboard floor. Whatever color you choose, know that it will subconsciously affect the way you and your guests feel and think about your kitchen. So, make sure to choose colors that truly resonate with you!


Famous TV Kitchens Reloaded: Hi-Tech Upgrades to Retro Designs for a Blast from the Not-So-Distant Past

If you love television, chances are that you grew up right alongside some pretty famous families. The Bradys. The Waltons. The Seinfeld gang. And at the very center of all the laughs, the confusion, the sadness, and the touching moments you’ll likely never to forget, are the memorable kitchens in the homes of the families we loved.

Many people still consider the kitchen to be the very heart of the home — for a variety of unique reasons. So let’s take a walk back down memory lane — revisiting the famous TV sitcom kitchens of the past — and highlight what it was about these environments that made them so special.  Plus, consider how their designs have influenced the kitchens of today.

The Brady Bunch: Alice ran a tight ship, feeding and raising a special group of kids

The Brady Bunch was the dominant family-focused sitcom of the 1970s. And in the Brady family kitchen, housekeeper and matriarch Alice Nelson was the master of her domain. The kitchen environment itself was a nod to everything that was great about the 70s. With an open floor plan in the middle class suburban home, the walls were adorned with perfectly fake wood paneling broken up by that memorable kitchen island.

Add to the atmosphere the stainless double oven, and Alice had everything she needed to keep the family eating heartily and running smoothly. The only thing missing? A retro microwave oven from Northstar. Imagine what Alice could have done with 1200 watts of power and capacity of 1.6 cubic feet. We’re talking sensor reheat, genius sensor cook setting, inverter turbo defrost, and a popcorn key.

The Waltons: An All-American tale of just how hard — and sweet — life could be

There’s little denying that the Waltons owned 1960s drama. This All-American family from Walton’s Mountain in Jefferson County, Virginia gave us a glimpse into growing up during one of the nation’s toughest times. And as you might expect, hearts soared and challenges were bested in one of the more memorable kitchen settings in American television history.

The Walton kitchen garnered specific acclaim for its period-appropriate detail — from the matching woodgrain furniture to the woodburning cookstove that anchored this special room. However, swap that out with the Fireview woodburning cookstove and you have a model that still perfectly matches the time period, but adds the convenience of high-efficiency and optional side burners.

Seinfeld: The show about nothing from the smallest kitchen in history

Kitchen space in a New York City apartment is at a premium. And no TV show demonstrated this phenomenon more clearly than the sitcom that dominated the 90s — Seinfeld. The motley crew of Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer spent years getting in and out of trouble — shoulder to shoulder in the confines of Jerry’s cramped apartment kitchen. Literally two steps would take you from the fridge to the stove and back. And you could access the microwave halfway through that trip.

One addition to the Seinfeld kitchen that they would have loved might be the Northstar fridge. With six models and eight dynamic colors to choose from, this retro appliance would have done wonders for Jerry’s cool factor — particularly on the few occasions when he entertained a female visitor. And with the addition of a BrewMaster factory-installed draft kit, the boys could have enjoyed cold brews to fuel their insane conversations.

Elmira Stove Works carries several complete lines of antique kitchen appliances to help you capture the look of your favorite TV kitchen. Plus, our brands are equipped with the very latest in cooking technology — which means you’ll never sacrifice the performance you demand for the aesthetics you prefer.


Turn your recreation room into the ‘coolest space on the block’ with a retro fridge with draft beer system

When the neighborhood bar scene gets old. When your bar buddies are looking for a place to gather. When the big game is on. You turbo charge your man cave or recreation room by adding a retro fridge with a draft beer system. All of a sudden, yours is the ultimate gathering place for the guys to gather and root for your favorite team.

Most people have pretty much the same basement setup. Flat screens. Couches. Maybe even a bar area. But what gives your place the ultimate edge is your keg fridge — with its exciting mid-century modern aesthetic and factory-installed draft beer system. Although this fridge almost sells itself, let’s run down some of the benefits of this unique addition to any serious beer lover’s play area.

1952_BREWCRWe start with the keg fridge, in all its
retro glory

The fridge itself — even without the draft beer system — is the pinnacle of coolness. These Northstar models are uniquely appointed with the smooth lines and dangerous curves that have given Northstar its reputation for being a cut above the rest.

There are six models available in nine standard colors, or match your team’s colors with an unlimited selection of custom colors.

We move to the draft beer system, with cold ones on tap

So, great, you have your fridge… But it isn’t long before having to open the door to grab your cold beers gets a bit old. And then you have to get the cap off the beer or flip the tab. It’s so much work, and you’ve got a game to focus on! Wouldn’t it be great if you had a draft system that lets you draw your beer just like at your favorite neighborhood watering hole? Well, now you can.

Say “hello” to the Northstar fridge with a factory-installed draft beer system. It comes complete with all the necessary accessories, including:

  • Through-the-door tap dispenser
  • Retro flame splashback
  • Drip tray
  • Coupler & connections
  • CO2 cylinder
  • Just add beer!

The real benefits for those who need more convincing

If a retro-cool refrigerator with draft beer system isn’t enough to get you to pull out your bank card and order right now, we thought perhaps we’d make a short list of some real benefits of adding the Northstar and BrewMaster teams to your man cave, recreation room or finished basement.

Elmira Stove Works - Northstar Model 1950 Keg Fridge - Black.jpg

The envy factor. One look at your game-day setup and your buddies will definitely want to hang out with you — heck, they might even want to be you (on game days, that is).

The safety factor. No more trying to navigate your way home on the roads from the neighborhood bar after a few cold ones — just walk upstairs to your bedroom when the game is over – and leave your buddies on the couch!

The spouse factor. If you decide to have a couple of beers after work, your spouse won’t have to look for you or go too far to find you.

The babysitter factor. For those beer lovers with kids, you won’t have to get a babysitter the next time you have a sudden urge to watch the game, eat wings and drink beer.

Elmira combines the ultra hip Northstar fridge with a factory-installed BrewMaster draft system. We’re ready to help you make your buddies jealous the instant they enter your recreation room… with the ultimate keg fridge.


The (Welcome) Revenge of Vintage: Transforming Your Home & Kitchen Spaces with Antique Appliances

There’s just something about vintage styling that makes folks feel at home. Especially in the kitchen, smart-looking antique appliances are dazzling additions to virtually any decorating theme. If you’d like to embrace your own vintage obsession, this primer on available styles, colors, and options will help get you started. Because vintage will have its revenge.

In a tech-driven world that values the ‘latest and greatest’, it’s comforting to know that antique home decor holds timeless appeal. There’s something in us that yearns to be reminded of our past — of the home we grew up, or perhaps a visit to our grandparents’ home, in when times were simpler. One way to satisfy that innate need is to transform your kitchen space with nostalgic styling using antique appliances.

Antique appliance options that form the base of your new kitchen style

The first question you’re perhaps asking yourself is: ‘What are the possibilities?’ You’ll be surprised at the choices you have when equipping your kitchen with these pieces. Also, vintage appliances will form the basis for the rest of your design, which makes them that much more important.

Antique appliances that feature vintage designs include:

  • Self-cleaning ovens
  • Convection ovens for faster, even, precise baking and broiling
  • Programmable ovens for baking and self-clean
  • Warmer drawers
  • Frost-free fridges
  • Ice makers
  • Large functional freezers
  • Filtered cold water dispensers

ELMIRA TOP TIP:  Whether you’re simply accenting an existing style — or you’re building a fresh look from the flooring up — each appliance category offers a variety of options that fit your lifestyle. Elmira appliance experts can help you to determine your specific needs and then select appliances that meet those requirements.

Vintage color options to add flair to your appliance selections

Perhaps the most inviting element of these antique appliance options is the palette of colors that bring back the rich tones of simpler times. Your kitchen will become a welcomed break from the ‘more-is better’ neon assault on the eyes. Instead, your home space will be filled with soothing shades that invite long, luxurious dinners and lingering conversation.

Elmira offers the following colors to choose from as you assemble your dream vintage kitchen space:

Antique (1850’s):

  • Textured black
  • Cayenne pepper red
  • Liberty blue
  • White
  • Bisque
  • Black/White
  • Black/ Bisque

ELMIRA TOP TIP: Your Elmira appliance expert is trained to help you select the set of colors that will complete your new design theme. If you’d like some help, just give us a call or send us an email and we’ll be happy to offer suggestions. Or, you can check out color options on our website.

Elmira Antique appliances offer yesterday’s designs with tomorrow’s technology

When we say vintage appliances, we’re not talking about ‘old’. We mean the latest cooling and cooking technologies housed inside a smart-looking, nod-to-the-1890’s-or-1950’s styled appliance. All the look and feel of ‘the good old days’ — but with the performance and durability of today’s technology.

Here are just a few of the technologies you can expect from your vintage appliances:

  • Programmable delayed bake
  • High-performance gas burners
  • High-speed radiant elements
  • True convection ovens
  • Two-cubic-foot warmers
  • 10 power levels (microwaves)
  • Turbo-defrost (microwaves)
  • Five-stage programmable cooking (microwaves)
  • Energy Star efficiency (fridges)
  • Auto-defrost (fridges)

Whether you’re cooking for four of forty — your Elmira vintage appliances offer the durability and performance you’d expect in a state-of-the-art appliance.

ELMIRA TOP TIP: The Elmira website has all of the information and specifications you need to help design your new kitchen space — including downloadable, printable model-specific user’s manuals with complete listings of features and functions.

Elmira Stove Works is your headquarters for antique-style appliances. We fuse technology and style into a robust collection of quality, durable refrigeration and cooking appliances. To recreate these looks for your own kitchen, to check pricing, or to learn more, visit to

Be a ‘Man on Fire’ for your wife with tips, tricks and recipes that turn Mother’s Day into Mother’s Month

Gentlemen. Dudes. Bros. The Elmira blog is about to get. Very. Very. Real. The info we’re about to share with you could have a serious impact on your happiness — or lack thereof — for the rest of the year. Ignore us and prepare for months of cold shoulders, sideways glances and general unrest. Listen to us — follow our lead — and you’re likely to enjoy the peace and contentment that only a properly executed Mother’s Day celebration can bring. Yup…we told you things are about to get real. It’s Mother’s Day Month!

Your wife is awesome. Maybe she gave you children. She puts up with your foolishness. It’s time for you and the kiddos to team up and give her the respect and recognition she deserves. (And yeah, we’re absolutely sucking up. Our moms read this blog too.) The great news is that it doesn’t take much to knock this special holiday out of the park. Just a little bit of effort — that’s on you — and some timely advice — which we’ve got covered for you here — and your wife will be telling all her friends that maybe she didn’t mess up after all when she decided to give you a home. (Just saying…)

ELMIRA PRO TIP #1: Your wife will tell you in the weeks before Mother’s Day: ‘You don’t have to do anything special. Mother’s Day is the same as any other day. It’s no big deal. Seriously. You don’t have to give me anything.’ This is a trap, guys, designed to lull the unwary, uber-literal man who can’t read minds into false complacency. Fall for this trick and she might literally kill you — okay, maybe not literally – but she might at least remind you of it every day forever.

Mother’s Day pregame starts May 1 — every day closer is another day wasted

More good news, boys. The quality of the Mother’s Day extravaganza — that incidentally will determine the quality of your life for the rest of the year — typically has nothing to do with the amount of money you spend. It’s all about forethought, effort and game day behavior. An expensive gift is nice, but not necessary. Here’s what to do instead.

Start with fresh flowers. Not ones that you pull from your neighbor’s yard, “borrow” from a local church garden, or — for your own physical well-being — ones that are fake. Drop a 20-spot at your local florist or grocery store for some actual smell-good flowers wrapped in attractive tissue paper or dropped in a vase. Extra points if they’re her favorite kind or in her favorite colors.

Store-bought cards are ok, but not the best. Drop another $20 on art supplies. We’re talking construction paper, glue, glitter, markers, paint pens, yarn, etc. Then, get the kids (it’s time these little free-loaders started earning their keep, right guys?) and kick off a four-alarm card making session in the basement (for privacy). No basement? Your team operates in the bathroom — no complaints.

ELMIRA PRO TIP #2: If you hook-slide your car into the parking lot of the local gas station on Mother’s Day morning in search of gifts and cards that might save the day, you will be terribly disappointed. You will return home with Snicker’s bars, $2 Merlot with a twist-off cap, a gallon of windshield wiper fluid, and some scratch-off lottery tickets. These, an acceptable Mother’s Day symbol do not make. No sympathy from Elmira. You should have started planning May 1 like we told you.

Mother’s Day starts the second you wake up — not five minutes after

Trust us when we say this. Open your eyes, kiss your wife and tell her how much you love her, call your own mom and say the same, wake and assemble the kids, and get your behind down to the kitchen. Do those things in order and immediately or the day might be unrecoverable. Because Mother’s Day starts when the sun rises. If not, she’ll think you’ve forgotten.

Unless, that is, you have one of those wives that enjoys sleeping in. If this is the case, allow her to do so. It’s your job to stare dutifully into her face while she sleeps until the exact moment she opens her eyes. This could take hours. Doesn’t matter. Just do it.

While the kids are screaming, dropping egg shells into the yolk, and covering the dogs in flour, simply fire up your Elmira Stove Works pro-style range and create this simple, delightful brunch-style quiche.

  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 2 medium yellow onions, diced
  • 4 eggs
  • 3/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon pepper
  • 1 cup fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped
  • 3/4 cup half-and-half
  • 8 oz. Gruyere, grated (that’s a type of cheese, dude)
  • 1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
  • 1 frozen piecrust in a tin

Heat oven to 375° F.

Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-low heat. Add onions, salt and pepper. Cover and cook onions 5 to 7 minutes. Add parsley and cook, covered, for 2 more minutes.

Whisk together the eggs and half-and-half. Stir in the Gruyere, nutmeg and onion mixture.

Place piecrust on a foil-lined baking sheet. Scrape egg mixture into the piecrust. Bake until filling is set and a knife inserted into center comes out clean, about 40 minutes. Let cool for 5 minutes. Cut into wedges and serve.

ELMIRA PRO TIP #3: Tailor this quiche to her tastes by adding in a handful of chopped cooked ham or sautéed vegetables when you add the cheese. Remember, fellas, it’s all about her today. Resist the ingrained male urge to add pulled pork barbeque, blood-rare steak, shelled pistachio nuts or light beer. We understand that’s how you’re programmed — just not today.

The rest of the Mother’s Day rules — ignore them at your own peril

As for the rest of the Mother’s Day rules and regulations, they’re pretty much standard operating procedure for what you would expect of a day on which you’re not the center. (After this list, continue reading to discover how to return things to a natural order once Mother’s Month is over.)

  1. You may not watch TV, look at your mobile phone or stay in the bathroom longer than a few minutes.
  2. You may not permit your wife to do any housework, talk about housework or even think about housework. (Yes, she expects you to know what she is thinking.)
  3. Like brunch, dinner is on you — either to be cooked yourself or, if you eat out, to decide where to take her.
  4. You may not work in the yard — your grass should have been mowed and edged before Mother’s Day. (Remember…May 1, son).

When you’ve officially survived Mother’s Month unscathed and with reputation intact, come back to Elmira for the must-have appliances to outfit your ultimate man cave. From keg fridges to retro microwaves to custom air-brushed fridges, we offer a unique line of specialty appliances that will congratulate you on a Mother’s Day well-done and restore life to its intended balance — which means making everything all about you again. Kidding. But not kidding.

And take heart – once you’ve reached the end of May… it’s only 18 days until Father’s Day!